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  • Home
  • MHP Services
  • Workshops & Coping Strategies
    • Relaxation and Mindfulness updated
    • Reducing Stress >
      • Where is my stress coming from?
      • How do you know when you are stressed?
      • Coping with stress when it has already arrived
      • Reducing less healthy coping strategies
    • Sleep Hygiene
    • Getting Involved
    • MHP Blog Posts & Newsletter
    • Building Academic & Personal Resilience
    • Tackling financial challenges
    • Breakup Bootcamp
    • breakup bootcamp worksheet
    • Imposter Syndrome
    • Social Media and Mental Health
  • Navigating Teletherapy
  • Building & Maintaining Close Relationships
    • Basic Psychological Needs in Relationships
    • Romantic Relationships
  • Mental Health Concerns
  • Suicidal Thoughts & Behaviors
  • Unique Challenges for Specific Student Groups
    • Freshman Transition
    • 1st Generation College Students
    • Transfer Students
    • Dream scholars, undocumented students & their families
    • LGBTQPIA+ Students
    • International Students
    • STEM Students >
      • Women in STEM
    • Greek Life
    • Athletes
  • Making Changes & Navigating Transitions
  • Application to be an MHP
  • Counseling & Psychological Services
  • Contact
  • Wellness Apps & Books
UCSB MHP

MHP Blog posts & Newsletter 

Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics

5/18/2020
I cannot believe I am saying this... but I miss the library. I miss having a place designated for studying, surrounded by like-minded college students living off of Yerba Mate and the desperate Subway sandwich meal that they’ve probably had 4 times that week. One of the challenges brought forth by COVID-19 is the displacement of several students into uncomfortable living situations, where it may be difficult to find a place to study or even relax. 

If you are experiencing difficult family dynamics while living at home during this time, you are not alone. Some students may now experience an increase in responsibilities that they didn’t typically have during the school year, such as caretaking. This can be incredibly hard, especially while being a full-time college student and trying to complete other remote work from home. College also acts as a safe haven for many students, giving them physical distance between them and their family members. Now that they share the same physical space, many people feel like they have less independence and less control over their familial relationships. A few examples of some difficult situations that one might face while home are having a family member with a mental illness, difficult financial situations, lack of space, or just not feeling understood by your loved ones. 

Also, underlying tensions can be magnified because of the stressful, unusual, frightening circumstances brought on by the pandemic. Family therapist Helen Park of Manhattan’s Ackerman Institute for the Family, a mental health clinic, says that “the climate for everybody is such an acute, pervasive level of anxiety. That kicks up the sympathetic nervous system; the fight-or-flight fear responses are very much always on. That's where you get problematic cycles of interactions, which are so difficult to interrupt if you're in a heightened state." Many people (myself included) have noticed that squabbles occur more frequently and often tend to escalate. This emotional distress coupled with a persistent feeling of anxiety can be overwhelming at times, so it’s important to pay close attention to your well-being. 

Some things that may help us when we are in these situations is:
  • Recognizing what’s within your control. Though we may not have the same independence and freedom that we once had, there are still some factors that are within our control. Many of us are able to choose what we eat, how we entertain ourselves, when we communicate with friends, what we wear, etc. Noting the daily decisions that we make can make us realize that we do still have some power over our lives.
  • Setting boundaries. I often have to make it clear to my family members when I need space, whether that is to complete my school work or just to get time to myself. Sometimes this doesn’t work, but it helps me communicate my needs.
  • Taking walks. This sounds fairly simple, but getting a breath of fresh air to get some space is really important to me. Sometimes we can feel trapped at home when we have several responsibilities or are feeling overwhelmed by the people we live with. Taking time to step out and appreciate nature, or a different environment, can be therapeutic. Daily walks can also create some physical distance between our family members and us. 
  • Reaching out to friends. If your familial circumstances are less than ideal, you can try to spend more time with your chosen family. A lot of your friends might be experiencing the same issues, so it could be helpful to confide in them and give each other the emotional support that you may not be getting.
  • Developing a routine. Without in-person lectures, extracurricular activities, and our regular jobs, many students find themselves procrastinating or solely doing schoolwork without allowing themselves much-needed breaks. Developing a structure can be helpful for finding work-life balance and creating a sense of normalcy. I still use Google Calendar religiously and include both classes and relaxation time (i.e. watching Netflix, talking with friends) because academic and social life are equally important. 
  • Seeking help. If you are feeling extremely overwhelmed by the changes this quarter and are having trouble navigating a living environment or relationships, do not be afraid to seek help. CAPS is available by phone at (805) 893-4411 where you can make an appointment to speak to a clinician, or you can submit a services request form online at caps.sa.ucsb.edu. Being able to talk to someone about what you are going through can really help when you are feeling frustrated and alone.
-Tashia and Maddie

Sources: 
https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2020/04/09/coronavirus-quarantine-fighting-causes-family-drama-amid-virus-fear/2955382001/


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Adjusting to Life at Home: Transform the Chaos of Potential

4/24/2020
I’ll admit it has not been easy adjusting back home. Even though it’s week four, each day feels like I am starting all over again. Today was the first day I woke up before 10:00 am, and I’m excited. I know that I have a long road ahead of me before I’m back on track, and at least the situation we are all living in is giving me a chance to practice. I don’t win everyday, but each day is a battle I learn from. 
As a senior, I am angry and frustrated that our graduating class had to be during a pandemic.  I know folks who lost job opportunities, community, and family members during a time where we are supposed to be celebrating. But, I am hopeful. I am hopeful of our generation to survive and take on this situation with courage. We are the generation that grew up watching our parents fight during the Recession. We are the generation that grew up learning what it meant to take responsibility. I’ve been watching a lot of School of Life videos on YouTube. If you have time, Jordan Peterson gives great words of wisdom that have helped motivate me. 

“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order” -Jordan Peterson

- Laic, Mental Health Peer



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Anxiety Reduction: Feeling Uprooted Amidst a World of Change

4/24/2020
                                     [I’m Anxious.]

I feel uprooted. I feel like the rug has been pulled from under me. I feel like I should panic, but I feel like everyone needs to stop panicking. I feel sad, then I feel guilty because others have it worse. I feel scared, but I don’t want to acknowledge that fear. I can’t fall asleep at night, then I either sleep in until 2 pm or I wake up overwhelmed with my own thoughts. And emails.

[CLASS 1] ZOOM lecture now posted on gauchospace!
[CLASS 2] read, respond ASAP: difficulties with ZOOM…
[SA ANNOUNCEMENTS] COVID-19 Response
[CLASS 1] ZOOM link: updated
[CLASS 3] syllabus update: READ THOROUGHLY!!!
[Henry T. Yang] COVID-19 Update

There’s so much to do, but also nothing to do. I should do my class work, but why should I when the days feel like they’re blurring together? I’ll just do it tomorrow. Or the next day. I’ll just go on Twitter.

            [Timeline] Coronavirus: Latest news and updates
            [COLLEGE FRIEND] ur stupid if you leave ur house during a pandemic…
            [VIRAL TWEET] this is a picture of my grocery store right now… 
[FRIEND FROM HOME] everyone chill lol ur stupid if ur still panicking…
            [CHRISSY TEIGAN] *animal crossing video*

Honestly though… I’m tired. I’m tired of ZOOM, of not seeing my friends, of not knowing how long this is going to last or what the future holds, of worrying about my basic needs, of being shamed every time I have to leave my house, of not being able to celebrate birthdays in person or go to events, of having no sense of stability or organization, and most of all, of worrying that this is what my post-grad life is going to be like. This is what my LIFE is going to be like. What am I going to do with my life? 

Woah.

Let’s slow down…

                Take a breath….
                            And show ourselves some self-compassion.

Over the past month and a half, my anxiety has been at an all-time high. It’s been really comfortable for me to fall back into unhealthier coping techniques, like spending hours scrolling through social media, not taking care of my needs, or completely isolating myself. While it’s okay to indulge in those types of behaviors occasionally, it’s important to take care of ourselves and do what we can to navigate our anxiety in a healthy way, especially during this unusual time. Here’s what’s been helpful for me so far!
​

It’s Okay.
The main affirmation that I’ve been reminding myself is… it’s okay. Everything you’re feeling right now? It’s 100% okay. We as a society are experiencing a collective shock, and that can lead to feelings of fear, exhaustion, numbness, anger and irritability, lack of motivation, and more. It’s absolutely normal and healthy for us to experience a whirlwind of emotion, or to feel like we’re unable to process it all at once. (However, if you or someone you know is experiencing warning signs or thoughts of ending one’s life, please connect with CAPS or Student Mental Health Coordination Services, or call 911 in case of an emergency.)

Can I Be Kind to Myself? (Spoiler: Yes)
Try to acknowledge these feelings through the lens of an observer rather than a critic. For example, instead of judging yourself harshly with negative self-talk such as, “Why am I so unmotivated? I’m such a failure,” try the following:

  1.  Acknowledge the emotion. Try not to judge it; just notice its presence. Bring awareness to the emotion.
  2. Notice where you feel the emotion in your body. Do you feel tension in your chest? In your face? Is it difficult for you to bring attention to how your body feels? Notice these sensations objectively.
  3. Feel the emotion! There’s a difference between dwelling on an emotion and healthily feeling your emotions to continue to grow and heal. If your body is telling you that it’s feeling something, it is so important to listen to it and honor it. Cry, journal, talk to a friend, do something creative, meditate, sit in nature, research the feeling, and/or call the 24/7 clinician hotline [(805) 893-4411]. Let your body and your heart release what needs to be released.

Therapy!!!
If accessible, I highly recommend therapy to anyone and everyone. I started therapy about a year and a half ago, and I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself. I didn’t realize how much processing I still needed to do to heal from my past traumas, and through therapy I’ve been able to become more aware of my own patterns and learn about ways to navigate my anxiety. It also feels really comforting to know that I’m able to consistently see someone who will listen to me and support me! To learn more about on-campus and off-campus therapy options, visit caps.sa.ucsb.edu.

Thought Diffusion: Visual Metaphors to Help with Unwanted Thoughts
For those looking for techniques to help diffuse negative thoughts as they arise, I highly suggest trying the following:

  1. Imagine putting the unwanted thought on a leaf and watching it gently drift away from you down a clear, flowing river. As it flows away, it also flows out of your mind.
  2. If the current moment is not a good time for you to process your thought, imagine putting the thought in a box and setting it off to the side. Whenever you’re ready to feel it, unwrap the box.
  3. Imagine that you are a mountain—sturdy, unmoving, strong. Imagine that the unwanted thoughts are clouds moving around the mountain. Although there may be chaos around it, the mountain remains firm and unaffected by the unpredictability of the clouds.

How Do I Find Resources???
Although it can feel like everything is on pause right now, most campus departments are still open! Here are a few options for those looking for some at-home self-care:
  • UCSB Mental Health Peers. Okay, I’m biased… but check out our website (UCSBMHP.com) for self-help resources relating to the college experience!
  • UCSB Shoreline. This is where you can find information about upcoming UCSB events.
  • UCSB Student Wellbeing. If you or someone you know is looking for mental health-related resources but are unsure of where to start, check out this website to see which resource best suits your needs.
  • Check your email! The Division of Student Affairs (which includes CAPS, CARE, RCSGD, etc.) has been sending weekly emails to update students on upcoming events and displaying messages from various departments on campus. I know that we’ve been getting COUNTLESS of emails, but this is a super helpful one for anyone looking for updated resources.

Remember, you are the master of your own mind. While there may be times where it feels like anxiety is uncontrollable, it is crucial to remember that we all have the ability to practice self-compassion and manage our thought patterns. You’re not alone in this! ☺

I hope that this blog post was helpful for y’all! Stay tuned for more blog posts by my lovely coworkers, and please follow @ucsbmentalhealthpeers for more mental health resources.

- Jasmine, Mental Health Peer



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