Transitions: Post Grad Blues

Post-graduation life can be both exciting and unsettling. After completing 2-5+ years at college, many graduates embark on new journeys. Some people might move back home with family, others may be starting grad school, and some might be kick-starting their careers. Everyone’s path is different, and it is completely normal to feel lost and uncertain at the end of your college experience.

Currently, in the midst of an important social movement and a pandemic, it can be hard to feel grounded and focused on usual life goals. There are huge changes happening not only directly in our personal lives, but in the bigger systems we are part of. Some of these may be impacting us directly and causing pressures in our lives that are hard to manage. The goal is not to ignore these external and internal events, but gradually learn to cope with them in a healthy way. 

Graduating from college sparks a huge transition in our lives. Many graduates have been in school non-stop for the past 16+ years. This means years of classes, homework, exams, extracurriculars, and deadlines. Now that there is a change in routine and responsibilities, there may be a strange loss of purpose or direction. Some feelings that may be coming up are anxiety, hopelessness, stress, sadness, or feelings of numbness. Whether you’ve had to move back home, start a new job, or are entering a new living situation, it is important to take time to care for your mental health. While all of these circumstances can spur some sense of discomfort, working on personal well-being can help you be the best version of yourself alongside navigating your role in the world. 

Here are some things that have been helping me, and might help you, too.

• Try not to compare yourself with others.

This might entail taking a break from LinkedIn and social media in general. Your upbringing, opportunities, and circumstances are so unique and different, and it simply doesn’t make sense to compare yourself to someone else and their accomplishments. It may seem like everyone else has their life together, but try not to base all your assumptions off of social media. Instead, connect to people close to you and express how you are feeling. You may be surprised that you are not alone, and can get some helpful feedback on how to cope. Your path may feel bumpy and nonlinear, but this time is temporary and success, however you define that, is rarely linear and clearcut. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Your accomplishments are wonderful, give yourself some credit!

• Try to create some structure in your day.

Something I will miss about being in school is the structure of classes, work, and extracurriculars in my day. Scheduling small tasks and duties helps me feel more organized and it holds me accountable. Even putting simple things like laundry from 1-2:30pm and job searching from 3-5pm can help compartmentalize tasks and open up time in the day for me to relax. Google calendar and simple list making in a planner are great tools!

• Get some fresh air.

I catch myself constantly recommending this to my friends and family, but not really taking the time to do this myself. I finally got myself to go outside and take a walk and it helped me clear my head, get some solitude, and a little bit of exercise. This can make such a big difference in your day. Taking a walk outside also helps me practice mindfulness by being more aware of my surroundings and feeling more in tune with myself. I make sure to take deep breaths and try to feel present without fear of the future consuming me.

• Journal.

Journaling can help us recognize or reflect on negative thinking patterns or feelings, and release our racing thoughts onto a piece of paper. I think that journaling sometimes has a negative connotation for adults because it is thought of as a “diary.” However, it can be really beneficial to write out feelings, concerns, and even affirmations. It is as simple as opening up a google doc or getting a piece of paper and starting to write out your stream of thoughts without stopping. There are even apps that can make it easier to journal such as “Wellnest” or “Reflecty.”

• Make small daily goals as well as realistic big goals.

Something as small as “I got out of bed today” can be an important goal to achieve. For me, goal-setting helps to put things into perspective and gives me motivation to work towards something every day. My daily goals may include personal things such as making sure to eat healthy, spend time with my mom, or make a doctor’s appointment. My bigger goals might encompass preparing to look for jobs or apply to grad school within the next year.

• Try your best to create an organized space for yourself.

When my living space is cluttered, my mind also feels cluttered. Even if I have a small space to myself to work or sleep, I try to keep it tidy so that I feel more comfortable and less stressed about how messy it is. Creating a comfortable living space might take some time and effort, but in the end it can help with your productivity or overall sense of well-being.

• Reach out to your support system.

You may not be able to see many people due to physical distancing during a pandemic, but your support system is still there. Talking to a trusted partner, family member, friend or mentor can help you feel heard and validated. Post graduation can feel really lonely and it may seem difficult to make the same connections with people you had in college. For example, bonding with class-mates over dead-lines and exams, or going to college parties. However, connecting with people who care about you can help you navigate what you are going through and remind you that you aren’t in this by yourself. Taking small steps to reach out to old friends, or build connections with new people in your life can help gradually alleviate the sense of loneliness. 

• Pick up a new hobby or rediscover old ones.

Before college, I used to make a lot of artwork  and slowly stopped because I became so busy.  Since I’ve had more time recently, I’ve been trying to pick up these old hobbies again because they used to be so fun for me! I am also trying to get myself to start cooking more because it is something I enjoy doing as well. However, I am taking things one day at a time and being patient with myself, because while I feel like I have so much time and opportunity to start new hobbies or projects, I also want to slow down for once.

• Try not to be so hard on yourself.

There is a lot of pressure to have everything figured out right now, but it really does not have to be done immediately. Graduation is such a great achievement and you should be so proud! Give yourself time to breathe, to figure things out, and spend time with your loved ones. It takes time to adjust to such a big change, perhaps even more so when there are such huge events happening simultaneously. This is something I have to remind myself multiple times a day.

• Seek help. 

Sometimes it can feel like no one really talks about how hard this abrupt transition from college into “the real world” can be. However, your experience is valid and this does not mean you should struggle with this challenge in silence. Furthermore, it might be difficult to navigate seeking professional help due to a lack of access in your community away from college or support from those close to you. With small steps towards seeking help, it can become more attainable. Recent grads can reach out to CAPS through the summer for help getting connected to local services.
There are also some online resources that create a safe space to talk to someone if you are feeling distressed:
https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://samaritanshope.org/our-services/247-crisis-services/

The MHP website also has some detailed resources on this transition: https://www.ucsbmhp.com/making-changes--navigating-transitions.html

I wish you so much luck on your post-grad journey. You’ve got this!

-Tashia, Mental Health Peer