Biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation. Each term speaks to a unique part of a person's identity---thus, they aren't interchangeable. Check out the definitions of each of these terms below and consider how you might identify different aspects of yourself.
Gender identity is a person’s internal sense of being a man, woman, neither, or both. People become aware of gender identity as early as age 3-5! Although parents & others tend to initially define gender identity, it is actually self-defined.
Gender expression is how you represent your gender through clothing/fashion, hairstyle, makeup, grooming, personality, expression of interests & activities, speech & body language. Gender expression can shift depending on context and across a lifetime.
Sex assigned at birth is determined by sets of physical characteristics that tend to cluster together (e.g. hormones, genitalia, chromosomes). But sex isn’t a binary!
Sexual orientation refers to the gender(s) who you are physically and/or emotionally attracted to. Examples of sexual orientation include lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, queer, etc..

What does it mean to be Transgender?

Trans(gender) is a term used to describe people whose gender identity is not the same as their gender assigned at birth.

There are a lot of different ways that a transgender person's gender identity might differ from their gender assigned at birth. A person might identify as exclusively male or exclusively female, they might identify as both male and female, they might identify as neither male or female, or perhaps they might define themselves as genderfluid, among other descriptors.   

Remember, identifying as transgender does not tell you about how a person might express their gender in clothing/fashion, hairstyle, personality expression, speech or body language, nor does it tell you about who the person might be attracted to. Gender identity is about who you are, not how you present to the world or who you are attracted to and love.

Check out more information below to learn more about the transgender community and perhaps clarify some of your assumptions. Also make sure to check out why trans visibility and advocacy for trans health and well-being matters.
Janet Mock is an author, advocate, TV and podcast host. She began her career as an editor at People.com before stepping forward with her story of growing up as a trans teen in Honolulu in a 2011 feature in Marie Claire Magazine. 

She is the New York Times bestselling author of two memoirs,  Redefining Realness (2014), a memoir which was the first biography written from the perspective of a young trans person, and Surpassing Certainty (2017). a memoir about the years in her life when she was not public about being trans.
Listen to this amazing conversation she recently had with Oprah by clicking on the link above.

The Importance of Pronouns

We use pronouns as a way to identify or refer to someone, and we communicate information about gender through the use of pronouns. Gendered language has an impact on the lives of trans people and others who live beyond the confines of gender binaries because it misidentifies them. That is, mistaking their pronouns mistakes their gender. Essentially, it's like being called by a different name. Thus, using appropriate pronouns shows respect for a person's identity.
Many people don't even recognize how much they use gendered language in everyday conversation. And, it can be difficult at first to make the switch. Below are some tips to get started.

How do I ask about pronouns?
  • “What pronouns do you use?”
  • “How would you like me to refer to you?”
  • “How would you like to be addressed?”
  • “I use he/him/his pronouns. Do you mind if I ask what pronouns you’d like me to use when referring to you?"
Ways to make your language more inclusive:
  • When addressing a group say “Hi everyone”, "Welcome everyone",  or "How are all y'all doing?" instead of “Hi guys!” or "How are you guys doing?"
  • Use the gender neutral/inclusive term "they" to ask questions or refer to others. (e.g., What did they say? What's their major?)

Mistakes are going to happen as you try to adjust your language. Apologize if you do make a mistake and correct it. Be patient with yourself and keeping practicing to strengthen that muscle.