Weekend Dilemmas: Staying here vs. Going home

Transfer students often miss their friends from CC and their social circle from home (other friends, perhaps family, community). When you first transfer, it can be tempting to go home every weekend to visit the people and places most familiar to you. But, if you don't stay here to get to know UCSB and the people here, this place will continue to feel lonely. 

Here's how you might consider balancing your time so that you can access the comfort of home as well as get to know UCSB:

  • Make a strategic plan about how to make connections here. Check out campus clubs and organizations as well as community resources. Perhaps start by finding the places here that will allow you to do the same things you did at home, and also branch out to try out some new adventures. Check out our tips below on how to find your community.
   
  • Connect with home while you are here. Planning time to actually go home can feel comforting. But also remember that you can stay connected to people from afar by talking, texting, and video chatting with them regularly. Consider taking them along with you on a virtual trip as you explore Santa Barbara. Or use them as a wing person--call them before and after you go to try out a new group so that meeting new people doesn't feel as scary and you can debrief afterwards about your experience.   
@UCSBMentalHealthPeers Transfer Experience:
Going home or stay and make friends? #ButHomeIsNice #NewPeopleAreScary #Dilemma #IThinkI’llStayHere #TransferExperience #UCSB
@UCSB Mental Health Peers Transfer Experience:
Interacting with freshmen... #IPromiseI’mNotScary
#HowDoAdultsMakeNewFriends #I’mJustALargePuppy #PleaseLoveMe #TransferExperience #UCSB

Breaking Into the Circle

It's pretty common for students who are new to campus to feel nervous about making new friends. But transfers often also express an added worry that other students who have been here since the start of their college career have already formed tight-knit friend groups and perhaps won't want have room for anyone else to join.

Remember that even though students may have formed friendships here, most students experience that their friend groups shift and change as they take new courses or engage in new experiences throughout their time in college.

If you think about it, you will meet new people in every class that you take. Now multiply that by the number of classes that you take each term and by the number of terms you will be here. That's a lot of people. And, clubs and organizations transition all the time--members come and go from quarter to quarter and year to year. So, the default is change and growth in groups.

And in the off chance that a person or group doesn't feel welcoming, that's a good signal to put your energy elsewhere!

Finding People Who Get It

Many transfer students are older, have dependents (e.g., spouse, children), and/or have had significant life experiences (e.g., worked full time, served in the military) before they enroll at UCSB. These students often find themselves in a different life space than 18 and 19 yr old undergrads, such that they have different needs for support to get them through school and different wants for socializing. The Transfer Center, Non-Traditional Student Resource Center, and the Veterans Resource Center are just some of the places that transfer students find community. Check out how these groups might help to better fit your needs.
The Non-Traditional Student Resource Center provides a space to study, eat, relax, and hang out and hosts social events for non-traditional students—a natural way to meet students like you. Students can access academic advising, priority registration, scholarship/grant opportunities, support groups, family housing, and childcare grants, among other resources.
​The Veterans Resource Center provides a place to study and develop community with other student veterans 24 hours a day, 7 days. The VRC also helps student veterans navigate state and federal benefit programs to receive support as well as apply for financial aid and scholarships to support their schooling.  ​
The Transfer Student Center is a place for transfer students to come do their homework together, socialize, and build community. And, Academic Advising, EOP, Career Services, and the Mental Health Peers hold dedicated hours there to serve the unique needs of transfer students!

When Partying Like an 18 yr Old ​Ain't Your Thing

Many students do not envision their social life as centered on Del Playa. So, how do you find others who might be interested in a social life that’s more your flavor? Here are some ideas:

  • Organize a get together where you live. Students often create connections with people that live in close proximity. Transfer students commonly live in apartment communities. This requires you to be a little more bold and reach out to neighbors. If your apartments have a Resident Assistant or a Resident Coordinator, check out the community programming they offer and go meet other transfers. Perhaps take the initiative and start a community potluck or movie nights.
 
  • Check out campus orgs & clubs. Getting involved in groups where you share common interests with others are a great way to start new connections. Remember, you don’t just have to limit your interactions to group meetings! Invite others who you click with out for coffee or a meal to get to know them better. Click here to check out tips for getting involved on campus.
 
  • Check out community organizations to meet others. Volunteer. Find a church community. Check out your local bike shop for community rides. These outlets provide another starting point to meet people through common values and interests. 
 
  • Check out meetup.org. Meetup.org brings people together in thousands of cities around their common interests and hobbies. Into cooking or wine tasting? Like to hike? Want to play beach  volleyball? How about salsa dancing? There are groups for that.
 
  • Grab a Santa Barbara Independent newspaper each week and go. Sometimes just showing up will introduce you to new people and new groups in town.
@UCSBMentalHealthPeers Transfer Experience:
When your night looks different... #I’mTooOldForThis$@%! #AmIReallyACollegeStudent? #Where’sTheDelPlaya #TransferExperience #UCSB
@UCSBMentalHealthPeers Transfer Experience: When you see everyone with their friends and their living situation is already set up for the next year and you’re like…. #LetMeLiveWithYou #IPromiseIAmClean #IWillWashYourDishes #JustBeMyFriend #TransferExperience #UCSB

Figuring Out Housing ​for Next Year Already?!
But I Just Got Here!

Some students will make plans early in the year about who they will be living with for next year and they will even sign leases. There's no doubt that feeling uncertainty about housing can be  nerve-wracking. But don't panic! For most students their plans are in flux, some change, and most don't solidify their final plan until later in the year.

Best made plans are thoughtful and informed. Give yourself some time to get to know UCSB and learn about places you might potentially want to live. More importantly, don't be hasty in committing to a roommate or housing situation because you are afraid you will be left in the dust. Get to know other students first and determine who you might consider living with. Picking the right roommate/housemates, not just any roommates/housemates, will be worth the wait.

​Check out community housing options for more tips on how to navigate the housing process more effectively.