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Transitions: Post Grad Blues

7/9/2020

Post-graduation life can be both exciting and unsettling. After completing 2-5+ years at college, many graduates embark on new journeys. Some people might move back home with family, others may be starting grad school, and some might be kick-starting their careers. Everyone’s path is different, and it is completely normal to feel lost and uncertain at the end of your college experience.

Currently, in the midst of an important social movement and a pandemic, it can be hard to feel grounded and focused on usual life goals. There are huge changes happening not only directly in our personal lives, but in the bigger systems we are part of. Some of these may be impacting us directly and causing pressures in our lives that are hard to manage. The goal is not to ignore these external and internal events, but gradually learn to cope with them in a healthy way.

Graduating from college sparks a huge transition in our lives. Many graduates have been in school non-stop for the past 16+ years. This means years of classes, homework, exams, extracurriculars, and deadlines. Now that there is a change in routine and responsibilities, there may be a strange loss of purpose or direction. Some feelings that may be coming up are anxiety, hopelessness, stress, sadness, or feelings of numbness. Whether you’ve had to move back home, start a new job, or are entering a new living situation, it is important to take time to care for your mental health. While all of these circumstances can spur some sense of discomfort, working on personal well-being can help you be the best version of yourself alongside navigating your role in the world.

Here are some things that have been helping me, and might help you, too.

Try not to compare yourself with others.

This might entail taking a break from LinkedIn and social media in general. Your upbringing, opportunities, and circumstances are so unique and different, and it simply doesn’t make sense to compare yourself to someone else and their accomplishments. It may seem like everyone else has their life together, but try not to base all your assumptions off of social media. Instead, connect to people close to you and express how you are feeling. You may be surprised that you are not alone, and can get some helpful feedback on how to cope. Your path may feel bumpy and nonlinear, but this time is temporary and success, however you define that, is rarely linear and clearcut. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Your accomplishments are wonderful, give yourself some credit!

Try to create some structure in your day.

Something I will miss about being in school is the structure of classes, work, and extracurriculars in my day. Scheduling small tasks and duties helps me feel more organized and it holds me accountable. Even putting simple things like laundry from 1-2:30pm and job searching from 3-5pm can help compartmentalize tasks and open up time in the day for me to relax. Google calendar and simple list making in a planner are great tools!

Get some fresh air.

I catch myself constantly recommending this to my friends and family, but not really taking the time to do this myself. I finally got myself to go outside and take a walk and it helped me clear my head, get some solitude, and a little bit of exercise. This can make such a big difference in your day. Taking a walk outside also helps me practice mindfulness by being more aware of my surroundings and feeling more in tune with myself. I make sure to take deep breaths and try to feel present without fear of the future consuming me.

Journal.

Journaling can help us recognize or reflect on negative thinking patterns or feelings, and release our racing thoughts onto a piece of paper. I think that journaling sometimes has a negative connotation for adults because it is thought of as a “diary.” However, it can be really beneficial to write out feelings, concerns, and even affirmations. It is as simple as opening up a google doc or getting a piece of paper and starting to write out your stream of thoughts without stopping. There are even apps that can make it easier to journal such as “Wellnest” or “Reflecty.”

Make small daily goals as well as realistic big goals.

Something as small as “I got out of bed today” can be an important goal to achieve. For me, goal-setting helps to put things into perspective and gives me motivation to work towards something every day. My daily goals may include personal things such as making sure to eat healthy, spend time with my mom, or make a doctor’s appointment. My bigger goals might encompass preparing to look for jobs or apply to grad school within the next year.

Try your best to create an organized space for yourself.

When my living space is cluttered, my mind also feels cluttered. Even if I have a small space to myself to work or sleep, I try to keep it tidy so that I feel more comfortable and less stressed about how messy it is. Creating a comfortable living space might take some time and effort, but in the end it can help with your productivity or overall sense of well-being.

Reach out to your support system.

You may not be able to see many people due to physical distancing during a pandemic, but your support system is still there. Talking to a trusted partner, family member, friend or mentor can help you feel heard and validated. Post graduation can feel really lonely and it may seem difficult to make the same connections with people you had in college. For example, bonding with class-mates over dead-lines and exams, or going to college parties. However, connecting with people who care about you can help you navigate what you are going through and remind you that you aren’t in this by yourself. Taking small steps to reach out to old friends, or build connections with new people in your life can help gradually alleviate the sense of loneliness.

Pick up a new hobby or rediscover old ones.

Before college, I used to make a lot of artwork and slowly stopped because I became so busy. Since I’ve had more time recently, I’ve been trying to pick up these old hobbies again because they used to be so fun for me! I am also trying to get myself to start cooking more because it is something I enjoy doing as well. However, I am taking things one day at a time and being patient with myself, because while I feel like I have so much time and opportunity to start new hobbies or projects, I also want to slow down for once.

Try not to be so hard on yourself.

There is a lot of pressure to have everything figured out right now, but it really does not have to be done immediately. Graduation is such a great achievement and you should be so proud! Give yourself time to breathe, to figure things out, and spend time with your loved ones. It takes time to adjust to such a big change, perhaps even more so when there are such huge events happening simultaneously. This is something I have to remind myself multiple times a day.

Seek help.

Sometimes it can feel like no one really talks about how hard this abrupt transition from college into “the real world” can be. However, your experience is valid and this does not mean you should struggle with this challenge in silence. Furthermore, it might be difficult to navigate seeking professional help due to a lack of access in your community away from college or support from those close to you. With small steps towards seeking help, it can become more attainable. Recent grads can reach out to CAPS through the summer for help getting connected to local services.
There are also some online resources that create a safe space to talk to someone if you are feeling distressed:
https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://samaritanshope.org/our-services/247-crisis-services/

The MHP website also has some detailed resources on this transition: https://www.ucsbmhp.com/making-changes--navigating-transitions.html

I wish you so much luck on your post-grad journey. You’ve got this!

-Tashia, Mental Health Peer

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Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics

5/18/2020

I cannot believe I am saying this... but I miss the library. I miss having a place designated for studying, surrounded by like-minded college students living off of Yerba Mate and the desperate Subway sandwich meal that they’ve probably had 4 times that week. One of the challenges brought forth by COVID-19 is the displacement of several students into uncomfortable living situations, where it may be difficult to find a place to study or even relax.

If you are experiencing difficult family dynamics while living at home during this time, you are not alone. Some students may now experience an increase in responsibilities that they didn’t typically have during the school year, such as caretaking. This can be incredibly hard, especially while being a full-time college student and trying to complete other remote work from home. College also acts as a safe haven for many students, giving them physical distance between them and their family members. Now that they share the same physical space, many people feel like they have less independence and less control over their familial relationships. A few examples of some difficult situations that one might face while home are having a family member with a mental illness, difficult financial situations, lack of space, or just not feeling understood by your loved ones.

Also, underlying tensions can be magnified because of the stressful, unusual, frightening circumstances brought on by the pandemic. Family therapist Helen Park of Manhattan’s Ackerman Institute for the Family, a mental health clinic, says that “the climate for everybody is such an acute, pervasive level of anxiety. That kicks up the sympathetic nervous system; the fight-or-flight fear responses are very much always on. That's where you get problematic cycles of interactions, which are so difficult to interrupt if you're in a heightened state." Many people (myself included) have noticed that squabbles occur more frequently and often tend to escalate. This emotional distress coupled with a persistent feeling of anxiety can be overwhelming at times, so it’s important to pay close attention to your well-being.

Some things that may help us when we are in these situations is:

Recognizing what’s within your control. Though we may not have the same independence and freedom that we once had, there are still some factors that are within our control. Many of us are able to choose what we eat, how we entertain ourselves, when we communicate with friends, what we wear, etc. Noting the daily decisions that we make can make us realize that we do still have some power over our lives.
Setting boundaries. I often have to make it clear to my family members when I need space, whether that is to complete my school work or just to get time to myself. Sometimes this doesn’t work, but it helps me communicate my needs.
Taking walks. This sounds fairly simple, but getting a breath of fresh air to get some space is really important to me. Sometimes we can feel trapped at home when we have several responsibilities or are feeling overwhelmed by the people we live with. Taking time to step out and appreciate nature, or a different environment, can be therapeutic. Daily walks can also create some physical distance between our family members and us.
Reaching out to friends. If your familial circumstances are less than ideal, you can try to spend more time with your chosen family. A lot of your friends might be experiencing the same issues, so it could be helpful to confide in them and give each other the emotional support that you may not be getting.
Developing a routine. Without in-person lectures, extracurricular activities, and our regular jobs, many students find themselves procrastinating or solely doing schoolwork without allowing themselves much-needed breaks. Developing a structure can be helpful for finding work-life balance and creating a sense of normalcy. I still use Google Calendar religiously and include both classes and relaxation time (i.e. watching Netflix, talking with friends) because academic and social life are equally important.
Seeking help. If you are feeling extremely overwhelmed by the changes this quarter and are having trouble navigating a living environment or relationships, do not be afraid to seek help. CAPS is available by phone at (805) 893-4411 where you can make an appointment to speak to a clinician, or you can submit a services request form online at caps.sa.ucsb.edu. Being able to talk to someone about what you are going through can really help when you are feeling frustrated and alone.

-Tashia and Maddie

Sources: https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2020/04/09/coronavirus-quarantine-fighting-causes-family-drama-amid-virus-fear/2955382001/

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Social Distance and Chill: A Guide on Self-Care

5/1/2020

Self-care has always been hard to practice and maintain. I have a tendency to start the quarter by practicing and balancing self-care but once Week 3 (really Week 2) comes along, I drop most self-care routines. It begins to feel like I have no time or it is just another task I must complete. However, this time around, things have changed drastically. Self-care has become a part of my survival and necessary for my ability to cope through collective trauma, remote instruction, physical distance, and so much uncertainty. Just like I need food, water, and sleep; I need to make sure I am nourishing myself and intentionally taking care of my mental health.

For me, self-care looks like extending kindness and compassion to myself. It means that I am learning to accept there will be days where I am not productive and that I make sure I am connecting with my community and loved ones. It is Week 5 and everyday I practice self-care. This looks like:

Learning to ask for support from my social support
Journaling while I listen to my favorite playlist
Cooking food that reminds me of home
Drinking a nice warm cup of coffee
Facetiming with friends and family
Lighting on my scented candle
Going for daily walks!
Watering my plants!
Stretching
Therapy
Baking

I am learning to be more attuned to my body, mind, and soul. Self-care does not need to be extensive, it is about the intention to nourish and listen to what your body, mind, and soul are telling you. This can be a few hours of your day, an hour, or a few minutes. The time does not matter as much as the act of it. These difficult times have shown me how essential it is for me to pause and take care of me. Self-care is not another task, it does not mean I am selfish or lazy, it means I am attuned to my own needs and I am respecting and honoring my entire being. Today’s self-care for me looked like sharing with you all my journey and practice of self-care. What does self-care look like for you?
-Veronica, Mental Health Peer

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MHP's Declassified Zoom University Survival Guide

5/1/2020

Welcome to Week 5 at Zoom University - UCSB edition, of course. It’s another day of waking up later than usual, rolling out of bed ten minutes before that 11 AM lecture, scrambling to find your lecture notes from last week, all while trying to figure out what your *Zoom fit* of the day will be.

As we prepare to head into Week 5, infamously known for being one of the weeks that most students have midterms (You got this!) we begin to feel the increasing weight of our responsibilities fall onto our shoulders. For some of us, we returned to our hometowns, to the places we knew as home before coming to UCSB/IV, whereas some of us stayed in Isla Vista, a home away from home. Whether you’re back home or in Isla Vista, one thing is for sure - we aren’t just students, our roles are much greater than that. For some of us, we’re the third parent, the caretakers, the educator, the provider, the example.

*DING* my bad, just got called into another Zoom meeting at Zoom University. As I was saying… during quarantine, you may begin to feel your motivation decrease, but don’t be too alarmed! We here at the MHP Program, along with the help of other wellbeing services available, are here to help bring you ease during these hectic times.

Here are some tips that could help you stay positive and gain motivation while adapting to Zoom University and the COVID-19 Pandemic in general:

Remember that nothing lasts forever
- As hard as it may be during these times, it’s important to remember that difficult situations are not permanent and will pass by. For most of us, this is the first pandemic we’ve experienced but people have been able to push through other ones, so we’re able to do the same :-)
Switch to a Gratitude Mindset
- This tip itself isn’t easy - especially during hard times like these but one’s mindset definitely influences one’s goals, mentalities, etc.
- Example: Instead of thinking “It sucks that I can’t see any of my friends/ loved ones during this time,” trying changing your narrative to “I can’t wait to see friends/loved ones after this situation passes over so I can really value the time I spend with the people who mean the most to me.”
- Example: I think I speak for most of us when I say we’ve all had this next thought in our head: “I’m so bored, time is going by too fast/too slow.” Instead, I suggest changing your narrative to something such as “I’m grateful that I have more time to tend to hobbies/interests I previously did not have enough time for.”
Plan Your Day
- There are many benefits from planning your day such as:
  - Deciding what you want to achieve for the day
    - By deciding which assignments/tasks you’d like to complete each day, you have control over the things you would like to focus most on. By the end, you’ll feel accomplished/be a step closer to finishing your tasks and progress is always ~good~
  - Having purpose and being productive
    - By creating a daily plan, you’re creating daily purpose. This leads to a sense of completeness, proactiveness, and drive.

In conclusion, here are a few additional tips to help keep you positive during these hectic times:
1. You got this!
2. Believe in yourself and speak your goals into existence
3. Stay home for the safety and wellbeing of yourself, your loved ones, and for the health of others in general.
4. Take advantage of any extra time you may have on your hands - call your family, read that favorite YA book for the sixth time, watch a new television show, discover a new interest, research topics that interest you -- the list goes on, and so shall we :-)

-Vic, Mental Health Peer

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Adjusting to Life at Home: Transform the Chaos of Potential

4/24/2020

I’ll admit it has not been easy adjusting back home. Even though it’s week four, each day feels like I am starting all over again. Today was the first day I woke up before 10:00 am, and I’m excited. I know that I have a long road ahead of me before I’m back on track, and at least the situation we are all living in is giving me a chance to practice. I don’t win everyday, but each day is a battle I learn from.
As a senior, I am angry and frustrated that our graduating class had to be during a pandemic. I know folks who lost job opportunities, community, and family members during a time where we are supposed to be celebrating. But, I am hopeful. I am hopeful of our generation to survive and take on this situation with courage. We are the generation that grew up watching our parents fight during the Recession. We are the generation that grew up learning what it meant to take responsibility. I’ve been watching a lot of School of Life videos on YouTube. If you have time, Jordan Peterson gives great words of wisdom that have helped motivate me.

“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order” -Jordan Peterson

- Laic, Mental Health Peer

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Anxiety Reduction: Feeling Uprooted Amidst a World of Change

4/24/2020

[I’m Anxious.]

I feel uprooted. I feel like the rug has been pulled from under me. I feel like I should panic, but I feel like everyone needs to stop panicking. I feel sad, then I feel guilty because others have it worse. I feel scared, but I don’t want to acknowledge that fear. I can’t fall asleep at night, then I either sleep in until 2 pm or I wake up overwhelmed with my own thoughts. And emails.

[CLASS 1] ZOOM lecture now posted on gauchospace!
[CLASS 2] read, respond ASAP: difficulties with ZOOM…
[SA ANNOUNCEMENTS] COVID-19 Response
[CLASS 1] ZOOM link: updated
[CLASS 3] syllabus update: READ THOROUGHLY!!!
[Henry T. Yang] COVID-19 Update

There’s so much to do, but also nothing to do. I should do my class work, but why should I when the days feel like they’re blurring together? I’ll just do it tomorrow. Or the next day. I’ll just go on Twitter.

           [Timeline] Coronavirus: Latest news and updates
           [COLLEGE FRIEND] ur stupid if you leave ur house during a pandemic…
           [VIRAL TWEET] this is a picture of my grocery store right now…
[FRIEND FROM HOME] everyone chill lol ur stupid if ur still panicking…
           [CHRISSY TEIGAN] *animal crossing video*

Honestly though… I’m tired. I’m tired of ZOOM, of not seeing my friends, of not knowing how long this is going to last or what the future holds, of worrying about my basic needs, of being shamed every time I have to leave my house, of not being able to celebrate birthdays in person or go to events, of having no sense of stability or organization, and most of all, of worrying that this is what my post-grad life is going to be like. This is what my LIFE is going to be like. What am I going to do with my life?

Woah.

Let’s slow down…

               Take a breath….
                           And show ourselves some self-compassion.

Over the past month and a half, my anxiety has been at an all-time high. It’s been really comfortable for me to fall back into unhealthier coping techniques, like spending hours scrolling through social media, not taking care of my needs, or completely isolating myself. While it’s okay to indulge in those types of behaviors occasionally, it’s important to take care of ourselves and do what we can to navigate our anxiety in a healthy way, especially during this unusual time. Here’s what’s been helpful for me so far!

It’s Okay.
The main affirmation that I’ve been reminding myself is… it’s okay. Everything you’re feeling right now? It’s 100% okay. We as a society are experiencing a collective shock, and that can lead to feelings of fear, exhaustion, numbness, anger and irritability, lack of motivation, and more. It’s absolutely normal and healthy for us to experience a whirlwind of emotion, or to feel like we’re unable to process it all at once. (However, if you or someone you know is experiencing warning signs or thoughts of ending one’s life, please connect with CAPS or Student Mental Health Coordination Services, or call 911 in case of an emergency.)

Can I Be Kind to Myself? (Spoiler: Yes)
Try to acknowledge these feelings through the lens of an observer rather than a critic. For example, instead of judging yourself harshly with negative self-talk such as, “Why am I so unmotivated? I’m such a failure,” try the following:

Acknowledge the emotion. Try not to judge it; just notice its presence. Bring awareness to the emotion.
Notice where you feel the emotion in your body. Do you feel tension in your chest? In your face? Is it difficult for you to bring attention to how your body feels? Notice these sensations objectively.
Feel the emotion! There’s a difference between dwelling on an emotion and healthily feeling your emotions to continue to grow and heal. If your body is telling you that it’s feeling something, it is so important to listen to it and honor it. Cry, journal, talk to a friend, do something creative, meditate, sit in nature, research the feeling, and/or call the 24/7 clinician hotline [(805) 893-4411]. Let your body and your heart release what needs to be released.

Therapy!!!
If accessible, I highly recommend therapy to anyone and everyone. I started therapy about a year and a half ago, and I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself. I didn’t realize how much processing I still needed to do to heal from my past traumas, and through therapy I’ve been able to become more aware of my own patterns and learn about ways to navigate my anxiety. It also feels really comforting to know that I’m able to consistently see someone who will listen to me and support me! To learn more about on-campus and off-campus therapy options, visit caps.sa.ucsb.edu.

Thought Diffusion: Visual Metaphors to Help with Unwanted Thoughts
For those looking for techniques to help diffuse negative thoughts as they arise, I highly suggest trying the following:

Imagine putting the unwanted thought on a leaf and watching it gently drift away from you down a clear, flowing river. As it flows away, it also flows out of your mind.
If the current moment is not a good time for you to process your thought, imagine putting the thought in a box and setting it off to the side. Whenever you’re ready to feel it, unwrap the box.
Imagine that you are a mountain—sturdy, unmoving, strong. Imagine that the unwanted thoughts are clouds moving around the mountain. Although there may be chaos around it, the mountain remains firm and unaffected by the unpredictability of the clouds.

How Do I Find Resources???
Although it can feel like everything is on pause right now, most campus departments are still open! Here are a few options for those looking for some at-home self-care:

UCSB Mental Health Peers. Okay, I’m biased… but check out our website (UCSBMHP.com) for self-help resources relating to the college experience!
UCSB Shoreline. This is where you can find information about upcoming UCSB events.
UCSB Student Wellbeing. If you or someone you know is looking for mental health-related resources but are unsure of where to start, check out this website to see which resource best suits your needs.
Check your email! The Division of Student Affairs (which includes CAPS, CARE, RCSGD, etc.) has been sending weekly emails to update students on upcoming events and displaying messages from various departments on campus. I know that we’ve been getting COUNTLESS of emails, but this is a super helpful one for anyone looking for updated resources.

Remember, you are the master of your own mind. While there may be times where it feels like anxiety is uncontrollable, it is crucial to remember that we all have the ability to practice self-compassion and manage our thought patterns. You’re not alone in this! ☺

I hope that this blog post was helpful for y’all! Stay tuned for more blog posts by my lovely coworkers, and please follow @ucsbmentalhealthpeers for more mental health resources.

- Jasmine, Mental Health Peer

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Welcome to the MHP Newsletter

4/23/2020

We warmly welcome you to our MHP newsletter which will consist of updates from Mental Health Peers on a variety of topics. Given the current state of the world, MHP's will be focusing on sharing their personal experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic. This may include day-to-day struggles, what helps MHP's cope, reminding students about resources still available on campus, and any other self-care tips! Transitioning to online classes and dealing with other domino effect of changes with the pandemic has impacted many students and their families in countless ways. While the current circumstances of the world have led us to close down some of our in-person services, we hope to connect with students through this relatable platform. We hope that you enjoy reading these blog posts as you get to know the MHP staff. One of our goals is to help students feel connected during this time of uncertainty and a lot of change. Thank you for reading!

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MHP Newsletter

Transitions: Post Grad Blues

Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics

Social Distance and Chill: A Guide on Self-Care

MHP's Declassified Zoom University Survival Guide

Adjusting to Life at Home: Transform the Chaos of Potential

Anxiety Reduction: Feeling Uprooted Amidst a World of Change

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